Caught between Love and the Clock

The dilemma of becoming an adult and reaching the stage of “settling down” is that, unless you choose to remain unmarried or lead an irresponsible life, the idea of marriage, that you’ll someday marry, never stops creeping into your thoughts and showing its face like a Peekaboo — whether you liked it or not.

For instance, this moment, you decide you’ll emulate that uncle from your church who waited a long time before finding a wonderful, mature partner like him. So, you’ve resolved not to rush into it; instead, you’ll patiently wait for as long as you’re genuinely convinced it’s time to settle down.

However, the next moment, your colleagues or friends, who married early, are sitting you down to passionately advise you on the benefits of getting married now that you have a seemingly stable job and seem to be doing well for yourself. They highlight the advantages of early marriage, including the fact that your children will be grown when you retire, sparing you from attending PTA meetings at an older age. You find their points compelling.

Yet, amid this choice between marrying early or later, you realize you’re not even in a relationship and have been single for as long as you can remember. So, even if you choose to marry, say, today, the question is: to whom? This means the issue isn’t solely about when to marry, but also about finding the right person to marry. Since you believe God isn’t a matchmaker, you must not only pray about it, but also actively seek your life partner out there—another challenge in itself you doubt you’re ready to embark upon.